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Are You An Unintentional Gaslighting Parent?
Are we distorting reality for our kids?
The term gaslighting originates from a 1930’s British play where the husband character is trying to get his wife classed as insane and taken away to an institution. He plays with her perception of reality, intentionally dimming their gas lights then claiming they haven’t changed when she notices them glowing less brightly.
As parents, we are almost completely in control of our kids perception of reality, especially at home. I’m not sure we realise the power we have. The pandemic gives a good example.
Small kids don’t watch the news. When lockdown hit all they knew was that one day they had to wash their hands before mealtimes, the next day they had to wash them a lot more often. Plus that hand gel stuff (that only used to come out on camping trips) was now everywhere.
Why? Because their parents said so. And if they questioned beyond that, because there was a virus around that we all needed to be wary of.
Within a few days they were used to the new routines and that became their reality — totally constructed by us, their parents.
We All Adjust Reality
Gaslighting is often thought of in the context of manipulative, abusive relationships…
