The Feedback Loop That Unlocks Weight Loss
Around this time last year I set myself a challenge.
I wanted to confront my poor relationship with food and address the fact that I have been overweight, to some degree, for most of my adult life.
I wrote every day for 100 days and each day I tried to investigate a slightly different angle of food, weight, and my own situation.
The whole process changed me for good.
Physically, I lost a bit of weight — not loads, but a bit — but the change in my mind, I can now see, was the huge leap forward.
And the biggest lesson I learnt was about the feedback loop that lies at the heart of my relationship with food, and, probably, a lot of other people’s…
Eating For The Wrong Reasons
For some reason, I eat to address my emotions. At its worst, I can enter an almost trance like state where I just keep eating and feel completely powerless to stop it.
This is called binge-eating and it is an eating disorder. But eating disorders exist on a scale, and I know I am lucky that I am low down on that scale.
Before I did my 100 days challenge, I would binge eat occastionally. Now, it’s almost never, in fact I’m struggling to recall the last time I did it.
I can’t explain why I would binge, but I know that I’ve done it most of my adult life.
I remember being stressed about exams at school, and while being at home for study leave, eating to try to relieve the pressure. Perhaps that’s when it started. I’m not sure.
But what I have learnt now, is that it only makes things worse — so I’ve stopped.
I understand how ridiculously over-simplified that last sentence sounds. All I can say to you is that by doing that work — 100 days of really examining food and my relationship with it — I’ve somehow convinced myself that I can choose to control it, instead of it controlling me.
And I respect its power.